Only A Dream
by Charmingly Gorgeous
Summary: LeAnn Rimes' 'Probably Wouldn't Be This Way'. Oneshot. She collapsed on the floor, shaking with her sobs, letting her tears fall freely down her face. Pick Your Pairing. Dedicated to Sarah!


She leaned against the doorframe of her only child's bedroom, just watching him sleep. Her arms were wrapped around herself, trying to stop the shaking. She bit her lip, to help keep back the sob that was threatening to escape. All of her emotions; they needed to be kept inside. They needed to be locked away, and never let out. She needed to be strong… for her son.

Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son 

_Everybody says he's crazy; I'll have to see._

_I finally moved to Jackson when the summer came._

_I won't have to pay that boy to rake my leaves._

_I'm probably going on and on _

_It seems I'm doing more of that these days._

Her hand flew up and covered her mouth in an attempt to muffle the sound of her cry. She quickly turned, not wanting to let her son to wake up to his mother crying once more. She held herself up, just long enough to close her bedroom door, their bedroom door. It will always be their bedroom. Never hers, for that would mean admitting to herself that he was gone. She collapsed on the floor, shaking with her sobs, letting her tears fall freely down her face.

I probably wouldn't be this way I probably wouldn't hurt so bad I never pictured every minute, without you in it 

_You left so fast._

_Sometimes I see you standing there_

_Sometimes it's I'm losing touch._

_Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have _

_Had the chance to love this much_

_God give me a moment's grace_

_Cause if I'd never seen your face_

_I probably wouldn't be this way._

Picking herself up off the floor, she made it to their bed. She curled up, hugging her knees close to her chest. She stayed like that, staring at her knees, just crying, before she stretched out, and took hold of the familiar picture of them. Their wedding day. One of those days that started crappy but ended wonderfully. She smiled at their smiling faces, before breaking back down into tears. She missed him so much. He should be here, with her.

Momma says that I just shouldn't talk to you 

_Susan says that I should just move on_

_You oughta' see the way these people look at me._

_When they seem me 'round here talking to this stone._

_Everybody thinks I've lost my mind_

_But I just take it day by day._

She stood beside his gravestone, just looking at it. She somehow felt betrayed by him; he left her so fast. He just left her, all alone. He wouldn't be there the day their son graduates high school. He won't be there when he gets married. She leaned down, and just ran her hand along his engraved name. She felt her eyes; red and sore, start to well up with tears once more. She glanced down at her feet, gaining her composure, something she hasn't had since the day she received the phone call.

I probably wouldn't be this way I probably wouldn't hurt so bad I never pictured every minute, without you in it 

_You left so fast._

_Sometimes I see you standing there_

_Sometimes it's I'm losing touch._

_Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to have _

_Had the chance to love this much_

_God give me a moment's grace_

_Cause if I'd never seen your face_

_I probably wouldn't be this way_

She lay in bed, just thinking about him. Just like the night before, and the night before that. Their son slept beside her, curled up tight beside her. He wasn't old enough to know fully what was going on. She ran her finger down her cheek, feeling the familiar feeling coming back. God, she missed him so much.

_Got a date a week from Friday with a preacher's son._

_Everybody says I'm crazy; guess I'll have to see…_

A hand slowly runs down her face, and his voice goes through her mind. She takes a deep breath closes her eyes, before reopening them. She's not beside her son anymore. She looks up, into his baby blue eyes, and she smiles shakily, pulling him close to her.

He whispers her name again, repeatedly asking if she's all right. She shakes her head, but she moves closer to him. He wraps his arms around her. Her ear presses into his chest, and his heartbeat beats a steady rhythm into her. She sighs contentedly, glad for this second chance. Glad for their great fortune. Glad for… everything. But most of all, she's glad that it was, and always will be, only a dream.


End file.
